Sunday, May 31, 2009

Problem of the Day

Do I keep my wine club memberships or do I cancel them? I did cancel one of them... but I have two more that I'm debating about. It's about $50 every other month, plus shipping. I imagine shipping will be more expensive in SoCal then in NorCal.

Wine Club Pro's:

- Wine is good.

- I can't get those wines in SoCal.

- I like wine.

- SoCal wineries depress me... it's not that they're not good, just not as good as NorCal. I need my Amador wines!

Wine Club Cons

- I'm unemployed, which means I'm broke. Now is not the time to charge to the credit card.

- My parents stock a full bar at the house, so it's not like there isn't any booze in the house.

- If I have to activate Plan Z (, then I need to slim down. Wine=calories.

Red, White, and Pink Slip Blues

I was drinking my morning coffee and watching music videos when this song by Hank Williams, Jr came on. It's called Red, White, and Pink Slip Blues. I loved it! Check it out...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Plan Z:

So if Plans A-Y don't work out (fingers crossed I make it on Rock of Love Bus II... only slightly joking. Hell, if Daisy can get her own show from it, can't I?), then Plan Z is officially putting a profile up on is a site where "Sugar Daddies" look for their "Sugar Babies." Or, gold diggers look for rich men to take care of them. Of course, I HIGHLY doubt that hot, rich, men need to post a profile on a website that advertises on myspace... but hey, if it's June of 2010 and I'm still unemployed and living with my parents, I'll have to activate this Plan Z. Just call me 'Sugah.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Eureka! I've got a Plan B!

For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be writer.

So far, my writing career has consisted of writing articles for a building magazine (no one can write about floors, doors, and solar power like I can! ha ha!) or snore-iffic press releases and brochure copy.

I've always dreamed of writing a fabulous best-selling novel that would take the literary world by storm. Put tears in reader's eyes, and make Tolstoy sit up in his grave.

And today, my friends, I was finally visited by the muse*.

Today, while in the shower (yes, the unemployed shower... although less than the employed), the muse touched my shoulder and whispered.... Diary of an Unemployed White Women.

Eureka!!! Get me my robe!

Yes, this is what I have been waiting for! For years I felt uninspired to write anything... I've been waiting for that great idea to come to me.

Excited, I called my parents. My dad answered the phone.

"Father," I said, "I have great news!"

"You do? What is it?" he answered.

"I am going to write a book!"


"Oh, well I thought you were going to tell me you got a job or something."

"Uh, no. It's only day three of being unemployed. Or is it day four. The days are all the same."

"Here, talk to your mother," and he hands the phone to my mom.

"Mom, I'm going to write a book."


I continue, "Uh, you know how I told you I always wanted to be a writer. Well, I finally got a great idea! I'm going to write about a girl who finds herself unemployed and has to move back in with her parents. It's going to be one of those comedic, chic-lit novels."

"What's so funny about that? Are you still going to apply for jobs?"


"Yes, mom. I'm still going to apply for jobs. Consider this Plan B. Something I've always wanted to do, but never had the time or inspiration for."

"Ok. Well, look, Deana. Don't forget to go to the store and get boxes to move."

"Yes, mother."

So, while my parents are less than excited about my new literary career, I'm totally excited! Hope this doesn't lose steam!

*What the heck is a Muse? Check this out. Have you been visited? :

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Advice for the Unemployed, Part I

I've been getting some advice on how I should handle my employment situation, but no advice was better than that given to me by my grandmother.

She told me that if times get tough, I can always be a stripper.

Good 'ol Grams.

Diary of an Unemployed White Woman

Unemployment Day II
Dear Diary,

Today I woke up around 10 am. I probably would have slept in later were it not for the phone ringing.

Determined not to be one of the stereotypical unemployed people who watch talk shows all day, I decided that today was going to be a productive day and I was actually going to do something!

Around 11 am, I filed for unemployment. Check.

And by 3 pm I had applied to three jobs. Check.

Around this time I realized that I was still in my PJ's and Oprah was coming on in an hour -- where had the day gone?

Darn it.